The Dangers of Knight in Shining Armor and Princesses who need them

Some women want a Knight in Shining Armor to sweep them off their feet to rescue them.

It all seems very romantic. Except, that the princess in the story usually is insecure, helpless and dependent.

Fairy tales aside, helpless women are exhausting, needy and emotional dangerous.

My best friend in High School recently killed himself. Tom spent over 20 years trying to save a girl with low self-esteem as a result of parental abuse. He sacrificed all his potential (and he was quite smart – CalTech student). In the end, she is living and he was destroyed.

There is a good reason for therapists and lifeguards. Both are trained to rescue others without becoming a victim themselves. Unless you are one of those, attempting a rescue potentially results in your own destruction.

I understand bouts of self-doubt, suicidal thoughts, depression, etc that we go through. My own SO has weight issues. But the low-esteem issues are narrow issues. In other parts of her life, she is confident and successful.

Global self-esteem issues need professional help. In the end, the person with self-esteem issues needs to know the path to raise their self-esteem.

For example, if you are insecure at work: why are you insecure? Find a way to have small successes to counteract those doubts that you can use to remind yourself in the future of your competence. Don’t ask others to validate your competence – they might have reasons of their own to put you down.

Lastly, remember you get what you attract. Insecure people attract insecure people or people that prey on insecurity. The princess can be the victim of the Knight in (not-so) Shining Armor