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Google I/O 2010 early review!

Google Checkout asked for my review of Google I/O, so here it is!

Thanks for your recent purchase from Google IO.

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	5 stars  Excellent: I would definitely buy from this store again.
	4 stars 	
	3 stars 	
	2 stars 	
 (*)	1 star   Poor: I would discourage others from this store.

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Google I/O promised both the I and Ohhhhh’s. But so far Google I/O delivered only the ‘i’ (note the lower case) and delivered neither I’s nor Ohhhh’s ( of any case). Furthermore, Google I/O seems to be perpetually out of A’s ( needed for the best students), E (as in eeks!) and of course the all important U ( needed for assigning blame!). People looking to buy a vowel for their Wheel of Fortune appearance should go elsewhere.

I made the purchase and then discovered that Google I/O will ship May 19-20 (4 months from now!). Even with this long wait there is no promise that any quality Ohhhs will be in stock. There is no return policy if the promised Ohhh’s turn out to be disappointing oh’s. In spite of this Google I/O is promising to sell out. So Google I/O is suggesting that people arrive early – latecomers may find only damaged Ohhhs left in the bins.

With the promised sellout crowds and the potential scarcity of Ohhh’s Google I/O has shown little interest in increasing security or crowd control measures. San Francisco Police indicate that they have not been asked to assist. Currently, they regard Google I/O 2010 as just a normal event in the Moscone Center. It’s also my understanding that alcohol will be served. It is almost certain that there will be Oakland Raider fans in attendance!:

Any time the Oakland Raiders make their way south, San Diego gets nervous. Police officials call more meetings and re-check security plans. Home-team executives bring in extra guards and cut off beer sales early.

This year’s game is drawing special attention because it is being played on Halloween – and because a spate of bloody outbursts at sporting events in recent years has rekindled concern about spectator violence.

As well as some Manchester United fans:

Seven football fans have been arrested after trouble during Manchester United’s Premier League match at Birmingham.

West Midlands Police said there were two incidents of disorder Saturday, one just before the game at St. Andrews’ and one during half time.

All of this leaves me highly concerned that Google I/O 2010 will be a repeat of Walmart 2008’s Black Friday experience. I am sure the other Google I/O 2010 participants are aware of this. So in spite of Google I/O 2010 being billed as a family affair, I doubt that there will be many children in attendance. Since women lack the physical strength to compete for the mad rush to get the Ohhhs, I suspect women will also be underrepresented.

On the other hand, Microsoft has shown considerable effort in improved security. Microsoft TechEd Conference should be a safer experience. (Not withstanding that poor security in Microsoft IE was responsible for the Aurora attack)

Inspired by my favorite punk’d reviews Playmobil Airport security:


My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!”.

and here:

the playmobil Dad could not remove his shoes or other clothing items, unlike the Barbie, the playmobil security agent became suspicious and after waving her wand wildy a few dozen times, called her supervisor to wisk the Dad into a special body-cavity search room, (which incidentally led to quite an embarasing and interesting discussion with my twin daughters about personal hygiene and a slight adjustment to the rules we had them memorize about touching by strangers). But worst of all, since the suitcase did not actually open, the baggage inspector made a call to the FBI and ATF bomb squads which then segregated the family’s suitcase (which btw was the only suitcase they provided for our educational family experience) and according to the advanced TSA regulations, had to blow it up, (since they could not otherwise mutilate the luggage, break off the locks and put one of those nice little advisory stickers on it), which we had to simulate out in the backyard with a few M-80s and other fireworks.

And of course Ping:

Using deft allegory, the authors have provided an insightful and intuitive explanation of one of Unix’s most venerable networking utilities. Even more stunning is that they were clearly working with a very early beta of the program, as their book first appeared in 1933, years (decades!) before the operating system and network infrastructure were finalized.

The book describes networking in terms even a child could understand, choosing to anthropomorphize the underlying packet structure. The ping packet is described as a duck, who, with other packets (more ducks), spends a certain period of time on the host machine (the wise-eyed boat). At the same time each day (I suspect this is scheduled under cron), the little packets (ducks) exit the host (boat) by way of a bridge (a bridge). From the bridge, the packets travel onto the internet (here embodied by the Yangtze River).

Posted in entertainment.

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