Stooopid SUV owners

I want to quote practically the entire article it is just so funny!

Bryan Carisone, a heating and air-conditioning contractor in Raritan, N.J., “absolutely loves” his new GMC Denali XL. But in June, one week after he bought it, he pulled into a station on a near-empty tank and watched the total climb higher and higher — to $109.

“It just about killed me,” Mr. Carisone said.

Well that’s love for you … a fickle beast!

For decades, the $100 barrel stood as a hypothetical outlier in doom-and-gloom conversations about future oil prices. And nobody could even imagine an American family paying $100 to fill the tank.

“Nobody”? Oh, I guess you just meant people like DEMOCRAT Rep. John “Denial” Dingell (D-MI) and Former Senator Carl Levin (D-MI). But who knows maybe the automobile industry will accept reality?

But the future is here. Oil passed $100 a barrel in January and now seems headed toward $150 a barrel. Gasoline prices surpassed $4 a gallon on June 8, stalled for a while, and have been rising again in recent days, setting a record Saturday.

Well that’s what happens with the dollar in the toilet. China and India becoming economic powerhouses with lots of cars. Living the American dream!

By late spring, owners of pickups and sport utility vehicles with 30-gallon tanks, like the Cadillac Escalade ESV and Chevrolet Suburban, started paying $100 or more to fill a near-empty tank. As gas prices continue to rise — the national average stood at about $4.10 a gallon Saturday — membership in the triple-digit club is growing. Now, even not-so-gargantuan Toyota Land Cruisers and GMC Yukons can cost $100 to fill up.

But still incredibly oversized.

During the first five months of 2008, about 11 percent of American drivers said they bought 24 gallons or more at their last fill-up, according to a survey of 81,000 drivers by the NPD Group, a market research firm — which at today’s prices would place many of them at or around $100.

Just think what it is going to look like with case at $7/gallon. Oh By the way — In England drivers pay $12-$15/gallon.

For people who love their big vehicles, the pain is acute.

Good. Probably about as acute as the pain the rest of us feel when we get hit by these overstuffed monsters.

Members of the Chevy Avalanche Fan Club of North America prize the Avalanche, a large sport utility vehicle, for its versatility, including a rear cab wall that slides forward for a larger pickup bed or backward for more passenger room.

With the extra pollution option included at no additional charge!

But the Avalanche also has a 31-gallon tank, which would cost $127 to fill at Saturday’s national average price. Even the truck’s most dedicated fans find that galling. David H. Obelcz, who founded the club in 2002 and is still a member of the board, sold his Avalanche because he could not afford gasoline for it.

Reality sucks. Oh I am sorry – might those treehuggers have been right? Who hates CAFE now?
Oh the sweet, sweet, delicious irony!

Thirty members of the fan club’s Arizona chapter used to attend off-roading and other events three times a month. But now that Avalanche owners pay more than $100 per tank, the club is lucky to attract 10 members once every two months, said Eric Tolliver, a chapter leader.

So does that mean you are not going to be tearing up BLM lands as much — I got to love that!

Eric Laugen, a firefighter in Seattle, is administrator of the Chevy Avalanche Fan Club of North America. For a trip to Prudhoe Bay in Alaska, he wanted to drive his truck because it has enough room for his fishing and camera gear, as well as space in the back to sleep. But he rode his motorcycle instead. That means pitching a tent every night, and no fishing.

“I looked at how much gas would cost in the Avalanche. It just doesn’t make sense anymore.”

Did it ever?

Hummer clubs are hurting, too. In Nebraska, Ric Hines of the Omaha Hummer Owner Group — known as Omahog — stopped doing off-road trips this summer and started riding his recumbent bicycle instead.

“Omahog” — what an appropriate name. “Hog” as in “hogging resource for yourself without caring about others”. But all the way to a bicycle — not bad!

Mark R. Price, founder of the Illiana Hummer Club in the Chicago area, owns three Hummer H1s, which get about eight miles per gallon. “A lot of our members won’t travel 70 miles just to support a parade anymore,” Mr. Price said. “People wait for something a little closer.”

Shit man – sell one of the H1-s. Bet the scrap metal value of those would get you at least 2-3 gallons of gas for the other 2 Hummers.

Families that were accustomed to the convenience of sport utility vehicles are having to cut back as well. Colleen Hammond of Chagrin Falls, Ohio, loves packing her three kids and all their soccer gear into her 2000 GMC Yukon XL. But she hates paying $160 to fill the 38.5-gallon tank.

Newsflash-lady. It doesn’t it is still over $100/tank. Why don’t you just get something reasonable with a roof rack?

Last month, she parked the Yukon in her driveway and borrowed her friend’s Toyota Land Cruiser.

Her friend should just make Colleen sell the Yukon XL and buy the Land Cruiser. Driving is more than just gas. Its tires, insurance, oil, and maintenance. Maybe Colleen could follow Angela Eversole or Kelli Stille’s fine example?

Steve Burtch bought a Dodge Ram truck last year, when gas cost $3.75, because he thought gas prices had peaked and would start coming down. Instead, he pumped his first $100 tank in June. “I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to keep this up,” said Mr. Burtch, 43, who lives in Marion, Ohio.

ROTFL. Tough it out. Be a man! Who’s the boss? You or the oil companies? Mano a mano in the ring, you can do it! Don’t quit now!

Edmunds.com compiled sales data showing that in the last seven model years, Americans have bought 25.4 million vehicles with tanks 24 gallons or larger — the point at which three figures is now a real possibility. A few big trucks and sport utility vehicles have tanks exceeding 30 gallons.

What is the scrap-metal value of those big boys?

But people who try to pump $100 worth of gas often find that they cannot, since most pumps that take credit cards shut off at $75 to prevent someone with insufficient funds or a stolen credit card from running off with gas. In addition, some older pumps still are not capable of registering triple-digit bills.

And just a few months ago we were talking about older pumps (or should we call them “wallet siphons”), not being able to handle gas priced above $3.99/gallon.

“The bill was $104.98, which was a real shock,” said Mr. Chamberlain, 71, of Marion, Ohio. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

Bet you vote Republican and thought the Iraq War would give you more of the sweet, sweet, light sweet crude-didn’t you?

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